Confession Point

When you must confess!

I have a very bad problem, whenever i see a muslim woman in her burka i have an urge to sling handfuls of shit at her. Can i be helped? Or will allah strike me down in a shitstorm. I await your helpful advice.

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It’s the same deal every few days… I download videos that just about every rational person thinks (or at least supposedly thinks) that nobody should have (underage sex, incest, gratuitous violence, etc.) I get off on having something I shouldn’t have, then delete it, and tell myself that I should never do that again.

When the doorbell rings, if I’m not expecting somebody, I become momentarily afraid that some form of law enforcement has found proof of the things I’ve watched, and could somehow retrieve them from my computer.

Most people believe I am one of the safe people… The kind of guy that you could leave your children with, and not worry… What would they do if they knew?

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First of all, i’m a 22 y/o bisexual GUY. I’ve dated girls my whole life (because its the thing to do, right?) until a year ago where I decided to experiment without telling anyone.

Over the course of the summer I slept with 4 different guys. Mostly good experiences but it was just sex… no romance, just pure Fuck. September came and I met a new guy, we were so much alike in so many ways that he eventually became my first boyfriend. I liked him, everything was cool at first… then he turned psycho on me. That guy had ISSUES.

I’m a nice guy, i don’t like hurting people, he totally used that against me. He was very mentally abusive with me, he would manipulate me in ways that I still don’t understand. Everytime I tried to brake up with him, but he would take out the “I’m going to kill myself if you brake up with me” card. And more shit like that.

One night he had a party at his house, towards the end of the night, he was drunk and threw fit. He got jealous cause I was flirting with girls. but nobody knew we were dating. We had mutual friends which made keeping it a secret a touchy business, it was part of my tactics, but he wouldn’t get that. He called me names, just saying really hatefull things that I’m not used to hear. so I threatened him to leave and brake up with him (cause c’mon, he had been treating me like shit for 2 months at this point) So he threw me on his bed and pined me, holding me by the neck, he was choking me, begging me not to leave him. I’M 22, HE WAS 19, I am bigger, stronger than him, but I…. its like I couldn’t do anything.

Its then that I thought to myself: “that’s how beaten wifes that still stay with their abusive husbands feel like…”

…. man I erased so much of this from my brain I’m having trouble recalling the events properly, it was so bad.

somehow, he manipulated me into staying. He played with my feelings and my head. Since when do you hear about abused 22 y/o guys… I was so ashamed of myself.

To break up with him, I had to take a break. I visited my parents for 2 weeks, in a town 10 hours away. I sent him an e-mail from there so he coudln’t show up at my door and … I don’t know what he could have done.

In the end it worked. I broke up with him. Today I have a girlfriend that treats me well. I’m happy but still a little shaken. I told my mom and she thinks I should go see a therapist… o.O

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I hate my sister’s boyfriend so much that i want to kidnap him and torture him, since he caused my sister so much pain.

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Eu amo a Mia, amo a Beatriz e amo a Marlene. 3 mulheres, o que há em comum? O facto de todas elas terem passado por uma tragédia ou várias na vida delas. O facto de todas elas serem lindas, o facto de sem saber como acabo sempre por ser essas pessoas que me atraem e que acabo por me apaixonar. Pelo facto de ama-las e sentir o que elas sentiram ao longo da vida delas. Não sei porquê mas todas as pessoas que me atraem no inicio e que mais tarde acabo por as conhecer são uma Bea, Mia e Marlene. Porquê pergunto-me eu? Porquê? Porque acabo sempre por amar esse tipo de pessoas? Será a luxuria a chamar por mim? Se assim fosse porque é que o que eu sinto por elas é mais do que isso? Amo-as tanto. E estou completamente na merda. Porque a minha vida pára por causa disso. Por mais voltas que tento dar. Por mais tentativas que faço para seguir em frente. Por mais iniciativas que invento e tento fazer para esquecer tudo o resto. Tudo acaba por correr mal. Estou farto, de viver nessa merda de mundo, onde o individualismo reina, onde cada está por si, onde ninguém é capaz de olhar para o outro e ajuda-lo. Odeio isso tudo. Ao ponto a que chegamos. Sei que estou vivo mas sinto que tudo morreu ao tempo. As pessoas estão mortas por dentro, e como eu as entendo. A Mia e a Bea foram pessoas que tudo fiz para dar vida…e falhei. A Marlene é mais outra. Porque raio estou a apaixonar me de novo, por alguém que de certeza vai terminar da mesma forma que terminou com as outras duas.

[Translation: Portuguese » English]

I love Mia, Marlene and Beatriz. 3 women, which is in common? The fact that they all have gone through a tragedy or several of them in life. The fact that all of them are beautiful, the fact that I do not know how to always be those people that attract me and for me that I love. The fact that love them and feel what they felt over the life of them. I do not know why but all the people that attract me in the beginning and that later in the know are just a Bea, Mia and Marlene. I wonder why I? Why? Because I always loved by such people? Is luxuria calling for me? If that was why I feel it is more than that? I love them both. And I’m completely in the shit. Because my life stops because of it. For more laps I try to give. It attempts to do more to move on. For more initiatives that invention and try to do to forget everything else. Everything ends up wrong. I’m tired of living in that kind of world, where individualism reigns, where each is for you, where nobody is able to look the other and help him. I hate it. When we got the point. I know that I’m alive but I feel that all the dead time. People are dead inside, and I will understand. The Mia and Bea were people who did everything to give life … and failed. The Marlene is another. Why the hell am I love me again, by someone who certainly will end the same way that ended with the other two.

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8th grade was amazing… I moved to a new country, had a girlfriend, and was pretty much cool with life! Things changed earlier that year when I was in a cab going home and the driver took a detour and abused me sexually. I think i could have stopped it but at the time i was just so shocked that i didnt know what to do…

I never told anyone… things that crossed my mind that my parents would be upset with me… i dont know why they would but its still there…

another thing is the place i was living deals on a lot of taboo in a bad way so it wouldnt be good for me

me and my girlfriend broke up, and now at 20, i have not had a real girlfriend, and also i have no idea if i even like girls or guys, complicated but i dont know… how am i supposed to figure out things!?!?!

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… ok, even when ppl dont know who i am i feel stupid about saying whats wrong. i cant talk to anyone, i feel stupid about my feelings, i think it might be because when i was younger, when i would cry, my mom would usually say ” either stop crying or go to your room, no one wants to see that”.. but i dont know. i hate the way i look, i am probably have the lowest amount of confidence ever, i always wear my hoodie because i feel like everyone is staring at my “fat” cuz im not skinny but im not fat, im just in the middle, but i feel disgusting, i always see my flaws… i dont even know how to take a compliment, i just feel weird. idk…

my family is so fucked up, and i feel like they hate me. my eldest brother *Abe* ignored me for like a year for no reason…like, i went to my brother *dan’s* house for a cook out and he was there, and he wouldnt even make eye contact with me, and he talked to everyone BUT me… then like 20 mins later he went to sleep… even now, i feel like crying cuz of it… i mean, do you know how that feels, im the youngest out of all my siblings (im 16 now, oldest sib. is 32) and when that happened i was only like 15, it hurt so bad, and he didnt even have a reason to do it… my mom said it was cuz the age diff. (hes like 25) but he was perfectly fine talking to my niece who is 11… and i have like 2 friends cuz no1 likes me, i never tell anyone how i feel, cuz i feel stupid and i dont even have a “best friend” and every friend i have always just leaves me, and treats me like shit, and i never stand up for myself… i hate it… and the person who used to be my best friendjust stopped talking to me, and she left me when i really needed her, …. u know how many times i have actually thought about suicide… more than i can count, i doubt id ever do it though.. i just feeling shitty all the time andhave no one there for me… i cant handle it… i dont know what to do…

and im not trying to make anyone feel bad for me or w/e i just wanted to tell someone even though they dont know me cuz i have never told anyone any of the way i feel and think.. ppl just see me as happy funny stupid acting jess, and they have NO idea about unhappy i actually am…
p.s- im not doing this to have ppl feel bad for me, and i tell u this cuz, even doing this, i feel stupid. =[

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My sister is a drunk, and I hate her now. Usually ONLY when she drinks. But she’s NOT a very nice person anymore, even when she’s NOT drinking. She and I were SO CLOSE growing up too. We were the best of friends, and now I don’t even like her, and it makes me so sad. If she wasn’t my sister, she wouldn’t be someone I would EVER want as a friend. Even when she’s NOT drinking she’s a loud foul mouthed negative person. My other sister committed suicide a couple years ago, and I miss her SO MUCH! So you’d think, that me and my last remaining sister would have become closer. INSTEAD, we only grew even farther apart. Last time she got drunk, she beat the shit out of me, becasue I wouldn’t give her a cigarette. We get along just fine, when she’s NOT drinking, BUT I still don’t like her much as a person, anymore.:-( Ugh… What should I do????

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I fucking hate you. Really, I do. I know, it’s hard to hate someone you ‘don’t know’, but trust me, bitch, I know enough. You fucking manipulative cunt. In fact, everyone here fucking hates you. Every single person except for the blind few who can’t see past your cute little facade. Guess what, whore, I saw it months ago. Nobody believed me or saw it then, but they do now. Even J***! You’re the only girl he’s ever truly wanted to just slap across the ugly little whore face. You’re a trollop, a fucking stupid liar who deserves nothing more than the very worst life has to offer.

So you used him for months, pissed him off, ripped his heart out and ate it on the plates he fucking gave you to use. You’re so ungrateful it’s disgusting. Every aspect of you disgusts me and it disgusts… well, everyone. Once again you seem to have pulled the wool over J***’s eyes but you didn’t fool any of us. You seriously think writing a cute nice little letter is going to fix any of the shit you’ve pulled? Um no. You bought yourself what you wanted, another night in his bed. I got to sit back and listen to how miserable you made him, the only reason he tolerated your bullshit for as long as he did was because he’s in love with the girl you used to be, not the satanic whorehound you’ve become. You know, I thought I’d like you. Haha, I couldn’t have been more wrong. I hate you and everything you stand for. I really, truly hope that when your ass does get around to doing that favor you said you’d do (you know, what whole going back to hicksville thing), you’re in a violent car accident or something to the like. I don’t want you to die, no, I want you paralyzed. I want you to suffer. I have never hated anyone like I hate you, ever – and you deserve kudos for that.

Tonight I strongly considered calling out of work, showing up to fighter practice and punching you in the face. If I ever see you again, you can rest assured you will leave blind and limping. God, you’re such an ugly fucking soul. The best part is you think you’re physically attractive, too, but really – you’re not. J*** prefers me over you by far, he always has. I don’t know what he ever saw in you. All he was to you ever was a cheap fuck. Guess what, slut? Cheap fuck or not he knows your game. He’s not that dumb. All you did was buy yourself some time.

Keep in mind, the more time you’re here, the better my chances are of getting to do what I’ve wanted to do for a long time – hurt you. I know my words will go straight through that hollow little head of yours, for there’s not really any brain for them to run into in there. I’m not going to post cute little threats on MySpace and talk tough on MySpace like you do; oh no. I’m not in high school. See, this isn’t a ‘threat’, this is a promise – if I see your ratfink face anywhere – ANYWHERE – I will beat it in. I will not stop inflicting blows on your ugly ass until someone pulls me off. You’d better pray that someone gives enough of a shit to do so, because from what I understand, most people know how fucking ugly you are as a being and would greatly enjoy watching you get the shit kicked out of you. I am not a violent person; I guess T**** was right when he said his sister brings out the worst in people. I know he was right. He turned out really great- what the fuck happened to you? Did Daddy touch you too many times? Guess what, bitch, we all lead hard lives. Nobody feels bad for you, so quit moping you fucking idiot emo bitch. Turn off your Black Parade – nobody is listening. Grow. The. Fuck. Up.

And get the fuck back to the trash heap from which you came.

Stupid, ugly whore.

Oh, what was that you said? If I ever called you a whore again you’d ‘fucking kill’ me? Let’s see you try, whore. The only reason you’re so loved in Tennessee by those sheep you call friends is because they’re either stupid whores like yourself or you fucked them into pretending to like you. Let’s see you make good on your little MySpace threat.

Also, brownie points for failing to call J*** out on MySpace too, because we all know MySpace is serious business. You seriously need to grow the fuck up. Try your hardest to get into that car accident, please. It would do the whole world a favor. I’ll visit you in the hospital and feed you Lysol and bleach through your fucking feeding tubes.

Cunt.

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Me and my m8s were out camping and we were piss drunk we started to wander around the bush when we ran into a wild boar we ended up killing it and raping the remains… then we found a deer…

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After I got out of the Marines…All I can think about is killing people. I don’t hate people. I’m pretty normal…but I dream about hitting men with pipes and smashing Men’s faces into concrete. It’s never about women. I don’t understand…I told the VA but they won’t help me. The USMC says I’m lying… I can’t afford to go to a docter. I’m scared I might actually hurt someone one day…

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Somtimes I hate people so much that I have fantasies about going to a public place and opening fire on everyone there.

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I constantly fantasize about going berserk and slaughtering and torturing people.

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I want to confess that when I was in elementary school I choked a kid… I got enrolled into the reading aid program when I was in like 5th grade and i taught this young kid, he was like a 2nd grader. He viewed me like the older brother he never had, I do not know why but I grew to hate this kid. He looked up to me and I despised him. I’d chase him off when it was lunch or recess, i’d choke him at times to tell him to keep away from me. I had built up anger and rage from my own familial problems.

I realize that I was just a young stupid kid, but now that I have taken some psychology classes I see how badly I probably effected his psyche. I feel horrid about it every day. Yet I know there isn’t anything I can do… Apologizing would only expunge my guilt, it would do nothing to help him at this point if I even knew where he was or what his last name was even.

I do not know what I seek in this confession, all I know is that I wish I could take it back. But of cource, that is not posible… I guess because there is nothing else I can say or do. I’ll say apologize anyway…

I’m sorry Andrew… I hope you turned out ok…

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When i was 5 i was trusted to look after my neighbor’s hamster. It feels horrible to admit I enjoyed throwing it against the couch and twisting it until it squirmed. It makes me cry when i think about it. I don’t know why i did it. I would never hurt a living creature.

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i killed a hooker because i was drunk and wanted to keep my $20. when she was through and we argued in the truck about the money i just stabbed her in the face and dumped her.

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I say we execute every terrorist ever captured, I live in toronto and these terrorists terrorists were arrested friday night, I can’t believe they are being treated like human in the prison. in a communist country, they would be shot already… as strange as it sounds I’m actually wishing to be in a communist country. and Filipino dude! I agree with you, I heard about it on the news and i’m outraged by the ignorance of these people for other culture. also I really don’t understand the hatred for canadians by americans. calling them retarded brother of america. so here I stand my middle finger raised to those people who have no tolerance for other people’s culture and terrorists and giving them a well deserved “fuck you bitch”. you don’t like me? then bomb me!

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i’m so annoyed with my brother, i just wanna pound him! what the fuck!

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I once saw two people fighting and watched one of them slice the others throat wide open. I never told anybody about it.

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im looseing my mind and want to kill everyone

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