Confession Point

Several years ago, when I was 19, I did a thing I’m not so proud of.

Some of you might say I’m lucky, but hear me out.
I was in love with a girl, we used to be together for a couple of years. Meanwhile, I met another girl, which was as wonderful as my love, but in different ways. She was everything my other was not… So we got together, each of them knew that I was dating the other.

I loved both of them, and they both loved me.
But I got them thru manipulation. That’s what killed my happiness. It is a wonderful thing to be love and be loved by two girls at the same time; but never do what I did. I was making them suffer :(.

First of all, i’m a 22 y/o bisexual GUY. I’ve dated girls my whole life (because its the thing to do, right?) until a year ago where I decided to experiment without telling anyone.

Over the course of the summer I slept with 4 different guys. Mostly good experiences but it was just sex… no romance, just pure Fuck. September came and I met a new guy, we were so much alike in so many ways that he eventually became my first boyfriend. I liked him, everything was cool at first… then he turned psycho on me. That guy had ISSUES.

I’m a nice guy, i don’t like hurting people, he totally used that against me. He was very mentally abusive with me, he would manipulate me in ways that I still don’t understand. Everytime I tried to brake up with him, but he would take out the “I’m going to kill myself if you brake up with me” card. And more shit like that.

One night he had a party at his house, towards the end of the night, he was drunk and threw fit. He got jealous cause I was flirting with girls. but nobody knew we were dating. We had mutual friends which made keeping it a secret a touchy business, it was part of my tactics, but he wouldn’t get that. He called me names, just saying really hatefull things that I’m not used to hear. so I threatened him to leave and brake up with him (cause c’mon, he had been treating me like shit for 2 months at this point) So he threw me on his bed and pined me, holding me by the neck, he was choking me, begging me not to leave him. I’M 22, HE WAS 19, I am bigger, stronger than him, but I…. its like I couldn’t do anything.

Its then that I thought to myself: “that’s how beaten wifes that still stay with their abusive husbands feel like…”

…. man I erased so much of this from my brain I’m having trouble recalling the events properly, it was so bad.

somehow, he manipulated me into staying. He played with my feelings and my head. Since when do you hear about abused 22 y/o guys… I was so ashamed of myself.

To break up with him, I had to take a break. I visited my parents for 2 weeks, in a town 10 hours away. I sent him an e-mail from there so he coudln’t show up at my door and … I don’t know what he could have done.

In the end it worked. I broke up with him. Today I have a girlfriend that treats me well. I’m happy but still a little shaken. I told my mom and she thinks I should go see a therapist… o.O

I lied to him about being pregnant & then I said I miscarried, all in hopes of getting him back.