Confession Point

i dont even know what i see in you. you act like a total fucking jerk to me and then the next minute you are flirting with me, acting like you like me. then you go off and flirt with some ugly whore that i absolutly HATE, and you fucking know that. also, that whore that i was talking about, she has a boyfriend, and yet you fucking go make out with her and hold her hand and shit. and then when you’re with me, you talk about how you hate that whore. what the fuck is your deal?!!?!???

i just dont understand it. you told me that you like me, then you dont talk to me. you have caused me 22+ cuts all over my body. you make me feel like a worthless piece of shit sometimes. and then i cut myself. is the only way i can get my anger out, becasue if i asked you about it then you would lie to me, even though i know the truth. danm, why do i even bother?

hey im 5’4, 103 pounds a 24 inch waiste and small breast. would u do me and by the way im 17

i was in love with a guy who loved me back.
but i moved away.
and now he’s seeing other people.
and he tells me that if i were there, he’d be with me.
i won’t move back. no way.
i’m finding it hard to see new people.
i’m feeling ugly, unwanted, and small.
he seems to be falling in love with this new girl.
and as much as i want him to be happy.
i hate him for it.

I was born with a severely disfigured face. i am also mentally retarded. because of this i can be violent and dangerous sometimes, and because my face is so ghoulish looking it can be very scary for people. so my mom and brothers chained me to a wall in the basement where i just watched TV all day and lived on a diet of bar food and candy bars.

One day a bunch of kids from the neighborhood found me and helped me escape. we had a long adventure together, during which i had to pick sides against my own family who turned out to be totally evil selfish bastards, and in the end we were rich, famous, and still alive. well me and chunk eventually shacked up together and from time to time he will give me blowjobs and/or let me fuck him. i think he just feels sorry for me because even though im free to do whatever i want i still just sit in our basement and watch TV all day (and surf da net, obviously).

Anyways, i just wish god hadn’t made me be born a ghoul and gay and not even have a shot at getting into heaven when i die. it is so depressing that it makes me want to take my life, but i would only end up in a worse situation (hell). so i guess i just have to be happy to be alive and try to stay alive as long as i can. the thing is that when those kids “rescued” me from my family my whole world got flipped turned upside down. And I’d like to take a minute
Just sit right there
I’ll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel Air.

… ok, even when ppl dont know who i am i feel stupid about saying whats wrong. i cant talk to anyone, i feel stupid about my feelings, i think it might be because when i was younger, when i would cry, my mom would usually say ” either stop crying or go to your room, no one wants to see that”.. but i dont know. i hate the way i look, i am probably have the lowest amount of confidence ever, i always wear my hoodie because i feel like everyone is staring at my “fat” cuz im not skinny but im not fat, im just in the middle, but i feel disgusting, i always see my flaws… i dont even know how to take a compliment, i just feel weird. idk…

my family is so fucked up, and i feel like they hate me. my eldest brother *Abe* ignored me for like a year for no reason…like, i went to my brother *dan’s* house for a cook out and he was there, and he wouldnt even make eye contact with me, and he talked to everyone BUT me… then like 20 mins later he went to sleep… even now, i feel like crying cuz of it… i mean, do you know how that feels, im the youngest out of all my siblings (im 16 now, oldest sib. is 32) and when that happened i was only like 15, it hurt so bad, and he didnt even have a reason to do it… my mom said it was cuz the age diff. (hes like 25) but he was perfectly fine talking to my niece who is 11… and i have like 2 friends cuz no1 likes me, i never tell anyone how i feel, cuz i feel stupid and i dont even have a “best friend” and every friend i have always just leaves me, and treats me like shit, and i never stand up for myself… i hate it… and the person who used to be my best friendjust stopped talking to me, and she left me when i really needed her, …. u know how many times i have actually thought about suicide… more than i can count, i doubt id ever do it though.. i just feeling shitty all the time andhave no one there for me… i cant handle it… i dont know what to do…

and im not trying to make anyone feel bad for me or w/e i just wanted to tell someone even though they dont know me cuz i have never told anyone any of the way i feel and think.. ppl just see me as happy funny stupid acting jess, and they have NO idea about unhappy i actually am…
p.s- im not doing this to have ppl feel bad for me, and i tell u this cuz, even doing this, i feel stupid. =[

I have a 4 inch penis and feel like no girl would want to have sex with only 4 inches…or me. Maybe it’s all the porn I watch. Maybe my hairy back also has to do with that belief.

so i’ve been seeing this girl for about a week now, and she’s seemed really really cool. from past relationships i’ve learned that sex isnt everything, and wanted to make her wait a little bit, i was thinking a week, maybe 2 before we had sex. mainly to make sure that things sparked for the right reasons, not just great sex.

so we’re at her place, and we’ve polished off like…3, maybe 4 bottles of wine…and i’m to the point that i’m spinning drunk, most likely because i drank most of those bottles…and she’s pretty well buzzed too.

she starts to get a little crazy. like going to emotional extreems in conversation, and we’ll be talking and she’ll slap me right across the face. which i’ll admit, i’m all for a little rough-house…but not in the middle of completely irrelevant conversation, yano?

she starts to crawl on me on the couch, and i just pretty much let her, dont try to push it at all, then she makes out with me as i’m in the middle of conversation, and as soon as she pulls away i start right back where i got cut off. and she starts crying about how she’s not sexy enough for me, *i used to date a few strippers, and she knows it, and i’m pretty sure is very insecure about that fact*

so then she turns up the music and starts dancing for me, and as i’m slightly starting to get turned on, she cuts off and goes and smokes a cigarette. by the time she gets back i’ve already halfway passed out-did i mention i drank like 3 bottles of wine? and she tells me if i’m tired to just go lay down, so i strip down and crawl into her bed, and she comes in like 10 minutes later and strips and says she wants to fuck. normally i would have…except by then i was really starting to get the spins, and the only thing on my mind was holding onto the bed so i wouldnt fall off.

i politely turn her down, and tell her i’m waaay to fucked up and would puke on her…ask me again in the morning, and she starts to freak out. then goes on about how no guy has ever turned her down, about how she’s not sexy enough for me just because she dosent have big fake tits, and is throwing a general fit like a kid who’s parents wont give him candy.

she then lies down next to me, back to me and i try to pull her in close to calm her down, and she lets out a big sigh of disgust and storms off to the kitchen. i dont know how long she was gone, because i passed the hell out…but she wakes me up yelling at me again. i tell her to calm down, and this goes on back and forth for about 20 minutes, then she finally turns off the lights and crawls in bed. then starts crying, or more like sobbing uncontrollably. i try to calm her down, but then have to leave for a minute to ralf, and come back and she’s still sobbing, then goes on to start cussing me out and talking shit, not really to me..but about me like i’m not even there. then more sobbing, and finally i calm her down and we go to sleep.

next morning she apologizes repeatedly for the incident, and has for the last couple nights, and says that she’s really an alcoholic and shouldnt drink anymore, bad shit happens, blah blah blah.
anyways…i still really like her…she’s a great girl, except when she’s drunk, and i only witnessed the one night. and we have great sparks as a couple so far, except that one incident.

any advice please?!? should i cut my losses and kick her to the curb…or try to give her another chance?

I feel I will never be good enough or sexy enough and I will never have a guy love me and fuck me all the time and want to marry me because I am not as hot as sexy beautiful perfect busty models that men seem to want.

I am attractive, but I am not a model. I think I need to get in the best shape of my life and model and then still I won’t be enough. Plus I will get older every year and there are always new young models coming out for men to look at and love and want more than me. I want to die. Thinking about it makes me cry and feel so bad about myself. Why does that have to matter to men so much? I wish I was good enough for a man so he would fall in love with me.

Are all guys obsessed with looking up new girls photos and videos? 🙁 I don’t look for guys to drool over very often at all. I want a real man.

I am thinking of stripping and being extremely strict with my diet and exercise. I don’t know what to do to feel better about myself. I feel I will never be as good as hot models my boyfriend (and probably all men) really wants. What can I do?

My confession is simple. Its about my insecurity. I have been told by EVERY woman I have EVER been with that I have a HUGE penis. Still in my mind it is not big enough. I actually measured it and its a nice size. 8 inches long and about 2.5 inches thick. In my mind I just feel like I need atleast ONE more inch. Is this normal?

I think it comes from when I was in 5th grade. Me and my friends in my apartment building (male and female) would always play truth or dare. One day I was dared to show all the girls my penis. They all INSTANTLY started to laugh at me. Now to this day I look down at myself thinking my penis is not big enough. 🙁

That’s right. I’m actually out of my teens (truth be told, I’m also well on my way to turning 21, which would make me an adult pretty much anywhere around the globe), I’ve finished high school, and I’m starting my second year of university.

And yet, the one and only kiss I’ve ever received from a girl was at a “spin-the-bottle” game in junior high.

Why?

Well, partly, because I’m unlucky…as pathetic as that might sound. I was absolutely crazy about one girl in my first two years of high school, and during that time at least two nice girls confessed that they had feelings for ME…not knowing that I was busy drooling after another gal. As fate would have it, I got to know one of these girls quite well over the following year…and I started to feel more and more attracted to her, just as quickly as she began to see us as “just friends”. And so on and so forth.

Partly, I’m quite sure, because I’m a fool.

I can’t seem to develop romantic feelings for a girl until I’ve gotten to know her a bit…which is, coincidentally, when you tend to enter the “friend-zone”. At that point, before it’s too late, you either tell her how you feel or you just slip into a comfortable, painless friendship.

And being a coward and a gutless idiot, I’ve yet to tell a girl that I like her, in said moment.

Now? Again, I’m in my second year of university. My friends have all had multiple relationships, some of which have actually been pretty damned serious. Several of them are now so comfortable with the ladies that they can walk into a club/disco and find a chick to get busy with each and every single time. They know what to say to a girl, how to entertain her, how to please her.

Me? All I’ve got down are the awkward jokes and subsequent silences. The small talk…GOD, I hate it.

Seriously: if a girl walked up to me at a pub, told me that she thought I was gorgeous, and that she wanted to kiss me…instead of jumping up and down for sheer joy, I’d probably be pissing my pants. Why? Because I CAN’T KISS WORTH A SH*T, unless I’ve got a crapload of innate talent for it.

Which of course makes the prospect of going out on a first date even MORE daunting. What am I supposed to do? I’m twenty, getting to first base should be almost AUTOMATIC. Trouble is, the real goal should be GETTING SOME, at this point.

But me? I’d be happy with one, miserable kiss. NO TONGUE, for gawd’s sake, or I might have a stroke here.

You know you’re pretty damned depressing when your hypothetical best-case scenario is some secluded area with a chick so drunk off her ass that she won’t notice what a slobby kisser you are :/

And what gets me is that I KNOW that I’m not repulsive, or ugly, or even unfit. I’m six feet tall, in moderate shape. I’ve been told a few times that I’m not entirely bad to look at.

I dunno…I guess I just wanted to get this off my chest. Hopefully, this’ll have some therapeutic effect, and by tomorrow I’ll be screwing like a bunny on viagra 😀

Seriously though…if anyone, ANYONE has every gone through anything like this, send a few words of wisdom my way, please.

Thanks for reading.

I just got busted on a totally idiotic thing I did a few weeks ago, making me so ashamed that I just needed to tell someone to get it off my chest.

I was with this guy for approximately four years. It was not a good relationship, he put me down and cheated on me repeatedly. I always had suspicions, as he would be very secretive about his computer, his email, his chat clients etc… we moved abroad together last year and right before the move, I found out he had cheated and made him confess to it. I decided to let it be because of the move. This guy was very disparaging and manipulative and finally, after a couple of months, I had had enough. I broke up with him, he brought a girl back to our place the same night. I found out he had actually been dating her and another girl for a few weeks before the breakup. It was pretty bad, first he tried to get me back, then he became controlling, even more manipulative and violent. Finally, he moved back home and I decided to stay on my own.

So, I have this stupid habit of googling people’s names. Childhood friends, family, myself, exes, my partner’s exes etc. And I’ve googled this guy a few times. Recently, I found him on a dating community. I registered a user, using my own email, to look at his profile and then immediately afterwards deleted the account. Little did I know that this community notifies its users everytime an aim contact opens up an account. And, he emailed me today, tellling me to stop spying on him. I denied ever doing it (though I did it a lot when we were together, to try and find evidence of his infidelity). He emailed back with a picture of the notification he got when I registered, and my username is his visitors’ log. So what do I do? Deny, deny, deny! I said I didn’t do it, but that I had let someone borrow my email account.

I feel physically sick, not so much because of my ex busting me, but because I am behaving like this even though I am with a new person, who is absolutely perfect in everyway and I know I will marry eventually. I don’t understand why I am obsessively looking for this type of information, and it’s not only my ex, I also look for information on my new boyfriend’s exes. Not telling him will make me feel like a crazy person (which I am not, this is a behavior rooted in being cheated on and developing a very low self-esteem) but if I tell him, I will make his disappointed. He would never do anything like this. He is genuinely the kindest and gentlest person I know.

I hate myself for doing this.

I get phantom-pains in my arm from where I used to cut myself over a year and a half ago. I’m just numb there. Except occasionally, when I – or someone else- touches my arm, I remember the pain again. Or at least my body remembers the pain again. I will never cut again, but it hurts more to have the constant reminder that I was once unhappy, so visual on my skin. I hate what I did to myself.
I love my boyfriend even more for being understanding of it. He knows, athough we have never really talked about it. He’s said a thousand times that he loves me for who I am, and not for what I used to do to myself. I want to tell him how much I owe my life to him. But when he reaches over and touches my arm – not even realizing- accidentally – it makes me uncomfortable and I hate myself for it. He once touched my arm during sex, and I had to pull away.

What I tried to heal on the inside, by damaging myself on the outside, just became deeper and more painful. I have ended up damaging myself on the inside and out.

i’m beautiful, i have a nice ass, but i’m short and have small boobs. would anyone still have sex with me?!

i’m really insecure about my body, people say i’m good-looking and i’ve had admirers in the past and they say i have a nice ass but i just feel ugly. i have “pimples” on my ass, i can’t even stand it! when it’s hot they start appearing but when it’s cold they get smaller.

I love my man and i have allways enjoyed giving oral to him soo much. The problem is I am self-conscious and I was pretty sure I was awful at it. So I kept on insultinghim and insinuating that I disliked it, I guess so that he would not bag on me. He has had a history of experience with women and he is the only man I have had any experiences with. By the way were both pretty young. Now as a result he wont let me give him oral and it has affected our relationship on so many emotional and “physical” areas. I told him the truth about it all but he thinks I am lying and wont bother with me at all saying he doesnt want to go through the same shit again. I feel that I have rejeted him in a bad way and offended him. Nothing I say or do helps. I want to satisfy his “urges” but that is completely off limits and my very sugestion angers him. I know I deserve the rejection he is giving me. Now everything is messed up and all I do is try to fix things. My confssion is that I want one of those “easy” buttons from those tv comercials but yet still I dont because this experience has allowed me to open up to him on so many levels even though it seems he doesnt belive me in any of them.

I often think about killing myself. I just don’t know if I have the fight left in me.
I’m living with my parents at 33. I have no job. I can’t find a job I can stand. I feel like it will never change.