Confession Point

When you must confess!

Well, no one would probably believe me if I told them face to face, and some people just make up things for attention, but, by my heart and soul, all I have to say here is true.

I have always felt a great deal of pain from persistent headaches and unexplained pains, feelings that slow me down. I am so lazy and I speak without thinking, but all of that isn’t me. I am a scholar of psychology, I know that what we think creates the world around us, and my preconceived ideas are getting the best of me. There is a lot to be said about the power of the mind, a consistent thought will become real. I know so much, and I have so much potential, but, by my nature, it seems that I cannot utilize it.

I hate nothing more than hard work. I waste most of my time playing video games to disassociate from reality, but I really want to work more on my psychological endeavors. Heck, I even know all the psychological processes I must go through to alter my reality in such a desired way. I just need some time to think it through, that is what confessing is about, right? Thinking through whatever is on your mind in an accepting and closely listening audience. I live for emotion, and since I feel so little, I have thought of many horrid things as to why I am this way.

The answer is simple, I believed I was a terrible person, part of my subconscious focused on negativity in various areas of my life, such as motivation. I have it all set out for my now: find negative feelings and shift feelings to shift habits, changing my inner world to change the world around me. I think I know why I talk so much now. Even though it hurts to speak and not be heard, I have to feel my thoughts physically manifest. That is a good feeling to me, feeling in the now, feeling real. I have work to do, but work is a nasty word, I hate work; I have a life to fulfill.

I am a really messed up person by society’s standards, but society is impersonal and doesn’t understand emotion. Society is the cookie cutter that makes people feel bad, and I speak out against such things that destroy true emotion, often to be struck down for doing what is right even though it is spitting in the face of what is accepted. I am a lazy person, and there is no need for a ‘why’ to that. It doesn’t matter, it just is. This control, this understanding of thought and emotion, this is who I really am. It is amazing how the power of a little time and effort can snowball into a life-changing experience. A good friend told me, “The key to life is not to know thyself, but to accept thyself.”

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10 Comments

  1. smooth veterinarian
    8:33 am on December 7th, 2009

    WTF?

  2. Tiger Woods
    10:55 pm on December 9th, 2009

    Can I get a invite next time you and mom have a session?

  3. Dewsh Bagg
    9:57 pm on December 20th, 2009

    Is this the Oprah show?

  4. drunk slut
    3:58 pm on December 21st, 2009

    wow that’s so deep.

  5. bort
    3:07 am on January 7th, 2010

    Thats so fuckin gay – go back to sea world you
    fag….and dont let the door hit you on the way
    out. Penis

  6. keeley
    4:37 am on January 11th, 2010

    i know exactly what you mean. you have a deep insight but are missing key points. you say theres no need to justify why you are lazy, and in doing so you negate societies impact on your choice of lifestyle. Take it further, despite the fact that you feel obligated to embark on your psychology endeavors because society praises productivity of the worker bee’s, in actual fact, you will die in less than 100 years, and perhaps it would not be the most fulfilling choice.
    I feel obligated to accomplish a bunch of shit, but i too take more joy in playing video games and sitting idly by pretending to be an idiot like the rest of society. sad, but fulfilling.

  7. The Occultist
    4:38 am on March 31st, 2010

    you may wabt to try the Gnostic approach of eliminating your Ego’s or the ones you want 2 get rid of courses are free @t
    Gnosticweb.org

  8. The Occultist
    4:39 am on March 31st, 2010

    you may want to try the Gnostic approach of eliminating your Ego’s or the ones you want 2 get rid of courses are free @t
    Gnosticweb.org

  9. huhuhdumb
    7:08 pm on July 9th, 2010

    hmm, i think i know what is wrong…YOU HAVE TOO MANY DILDOS IN YOU BUM BUM, I R JAPANESE U GIVE ME DOLLA FOR ADVICE, U TAKE DILDO OUT BUM BUM SELL STORE GIVE DOLLA, WAAAAHAHHA WAAAAAAHAAHA CHING CHONG BING BONG. I GO EAT RICE NAOW

  10. Dr Giggles
    9:16 pm on December 13th, 2012

    MPD MK Ultra abused dog crap eating kitten killing Sociopath HaHa!!!!!

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