Confession Point

It’s hard for me to even hug my boyfriend because I was molested as a child and have an extreme dislike of being touched.

I’ve never told anybody and I don’t intend to.

I wish I could tell him why I always take off after we hug or why we can’t fool around even though I really want to.

I hope my molester fucking burns in hell.

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3 Comments

1. Italian Stallion
   8:29 pm on October 19th, 2008

   I hope someone gets their hands on your molester and castrates the motherfucker.

   And…I know you probably won’t give a flying feck about what I’VE got to say about it, but…

   …if you care about this guy you’re with enough, do you think it’s possible to seek professional help (discretely)?

   I mean, I don’t actually know what kind of situation you’re in, but you do seem pretty damned scared of physical contact, and just as intent about not letting people close to you know about it.

   So…sign up, in secret, to some sort of psychological evaluation? Just to see if it’d be any help at all?

2. Ranius
   5:40 pm on October 21st, 2008

   stallion’s got a point. i’d also like to point out that with the right support, you can overcome a problem like that, if you feel comfortable enough around the person. however, for that to work the other person needs to be aware of your condition so they can cooperate.

3. mx
   10:16 am on December 1st, 2008

   Believe it or not it would help if he knew. Your problem isn’t even about sex. That’s just the manifestation. Molestation is all about broken trust. The person who molested you broke a sacred trust. The only thing that doesn’t make molestation rape is the fact that you are too innocent/naive to realize that you are being rapped.

   I agree with Ranius if you want to overcome this you need to talk it over with your boyfriend. What you’re saying is you don’t trust him with your secret. If you can’t trust him with your secret then how can you trust him with your body? By holding back you’re not letting it out.

   Being rapped or molested doesn’t count against you. Non consensual sex isn’t sex it’s abuse. Your boyfriend won’t judge you he’ll at least have an idea what you’re going through and it will take a load off of his chest. More than likely he’s confused and thinks it’s something he’s done. If you need more detailed advice I’d be happy to help. This is an issue close at heart for me.