Confession Point

When you must confess!

I am completely in love with my mate and we are to get married in a couple of months, but he broke my heart a while back and I don’t think I can get over it. He’s with me 24/7 but I think he’s one of those internet addicts that are forever flirting, planning another life, and even getting cyber dirty with them online. I know he did it at one point but I don’t think I believe he has stopped. My confession, ever since he first broke my heart, I have stalked his every move. I’ve put programs on all our pc to capture screenshots, passwords, I go into all his pages and emails. I drive myself crazy wondering who he might be talking to at work. I’ve done checks on numbers that pop up on his cell, check his cell when he doesn’t know. creep up to hear if he’s on the phone and if he disappears for more than 5 minutes I find an excuse to go around searching for him. I can’t stand living like this. I’m having a hard time letting go of what happened and yet I only want to be with him. I just can’t do it not knowing. I’ve tried breaking it off, no matter how bad I don’t want to, for his sake but he won’t leave.

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5 Comments

  1. TheFallen
    6:41 am on December 15th, 2008

    First I am so sorry,

    My former best friend was in this very situation, still is as far as I know.

    Truth is It wont stop, marrying your mate wont even change things. If he does love you than he will stop immediately, but it’s continuing and your getting set up for hurt and heartache in the long run.

    My honest recommendation? Take a break, talk, ask if he knows it bothers you or if he even cares.

    My friend…former friend, already had problems, her spouse didnt care and continued, it drove her ot problems, last i heard she was a recluse hiding in a basement 90% of the time.

    My best wishes to you in your coming days.

  2. Sarah
    2:59 am on December 28th, 2008

    If you are this paranoid and mistrustful in this relationship,you need to get out. Marriage at this point would be the very worst thing. When they say that Trust is the cornerstone of every healthy relationship, it is the truth!

    It is unfair to both him and you to have to be doing this kind of thing. Even people in relationships are entitled to some privacy. I know I would go nuts if a person that I was in a relationship with was stalking my every move and reading my e-mails. You have to have privacy to talk to friends about that relationship without fear of reprisals.

    If you can’t find it in your heart to forgive him, and he is exhibiting the same behavior that he was when he hurt you, then, for both of your sakes, you need to get out. It will just get uglier and uglier, and he will wind up hating you for not trusting him, and you will wind up miserable and hating him for “hiding” from you and for his phantom “cyber-cheating.”

    This kind of worry and paranoia begins to feed on itself and there really is no cure for it except loving the person enough to trust him. If that trust has been violated and you can’t find it in your heart to give it again, then don’t waste both of your lives looking for it.

    Life is too short to play these kinds of games, and love is too rare to throw it away on suspicion and ghosts.

    Best of luck to you both.

  3. sad lab assistant
    2:38 pm on January 6th, 2009

    If you can’t trust him the do both yourselves a favor and walk away. It won’t get any better.

  4. wise mother
    5:00 am on January 9th, 2009

    First off, you are a human being: You have some kind of self control in you. Talk to him. If you’re still having these issue and it doesn’t work then your best is to go with your instincts and break it off. It wont be healthy for the relationship or marriage if you keep acting like that whether you’re right or wrong.

  5. Jesus_Is_The_Answer
    5:45 pm on January 26th, 2009

    If you don’t mind me asking can I know your ages? And the length of your relationship so far, maybe how long ago you caught him as well….

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