Confession Point

well how do i start.its gonna be really long. I am 17,pretty,smart and attractive. I am also among the TOP 5 in my class. Despite all this ,earlier i never got much attention from the opposite sex because i wasnn’t much exposed much.
But lately(like the past 6 months)i am in the limelight. I have made many friends and most of them like me. There have been many people who have fallen for me(i couldnt even keep a track), but there is one special guy. He is now like my best friend. We hang out all the time,we talk over the phone almost all day.
Sometime back he told me that he loves me and i know its true. He’s one of the nicest people i have ever come across in my life. But there is something that always stops me from giving myself to him. I told him that i dont love him(which is true ,i only like him) but the problem is i wont even give this a chance.
At the same time i dont want him to be with anyone else. My problem is that i am completely full of myself.
I am scared that i wont meet new peeple, there wont anyone new falling for me. When there are lots of rumours and controversies about me, i HATE it and i get completely FRUSTRATED(because i never try to hurt anyone and i have no bad intentions),but i know that i will become even more frustrated if people do not talk about me. I become more upset that way. People have started to call me a bitch and now i think i have started to become one.I want all guys to fall for me, i want all the attention to myself. I am so damn desperate for attention…..
here let me give u an example.
A few days back i went to a party with my friends and one of my good friends met a galfriend of mine and
now he is interested in her. This almost made me mad, even though i am not attracted to that guy, i often think of him like a brother. But i cant stand him liking any girl. Maybe i am just way to possessive about my friends.
I know one day i will completely fall apart when i realise that i do not have anyone. I want guys to fall for me but i never say YES to them. I have feeling i will end up alone.
I really wish i could deal with this but dont know how to go about it?
I wasnt like this earlier, i was much more happy and contented with my life. This problem is also not letting me settle down with anyone , i have even rejected true love.(it’s not about sex,i dont want it, just thought of letting u know).
Some people think that all these kind problems start in the family. My parents got divorced when i was 10, i live with my mom, she has a boyfriend. And she is addicted to cigarettes.
I wish i could figure a way out. PLEASE HELP.