After I got out of the Marines…All I can think about is killing people. I don’t hate people. I’m pretty normal…but I dream about hitting men with pipes and smashing Men’s faces into concrete. It’s never about women. I don’t understand…I told the VA but they won’t help me. The USMC says I’m lying… I can’t afford to go to a docter. I’m scared I might actually hurt someone one day…
5:04 pm on October 15th, 2008
I hope you are able get the help you need.
11:37 am on October 16th, 2008
If you are in college, they have free therapy sessions. If not, go to a college and it will be the cheapest therapy. Sounds like you just need to get something off your chest and out in the open. So tell someone, even if you have to tell your best friend, for your sake and others.
7:59 am on October 18th, 2008
I feel for you, i don’t know what that means to you, but i care about you and can understand the pain in your mind.try to stick to your values because your core is goodness, you are not transforming into something evil – i know that it scares you. You can overcome this. Just live your life with as much goodness as you can and it will overpower your disturbed feelings. i hope the best for you in your life and you have my blessing for what it’s worth.
5:13 pm on October 29th, 2008
Thoughts and behavior are two separate things. There is no reason you should act on a thought without a conscious wish to do so. If these dreams and intrusive thoughts are associated with high anxiety levels at the time they occur and are interfering with your life, considering your military experience, it’s possible that you have PTSD. Many ex service personnel are left with hidden wounds following combat and there should be someone you can approach. I see from a quick look here online that psychiatric services for USMC is a bit limited at present, but you might find these links useful;
http://rainmakerty.blogspot.com/2008/09/us-marine-corps-has-stepped-up-fight.html
http://www.iraqwarveterans.org/ptsd.htm
Bear in mind I can’t diagnose a thing from your brief description but can advise you that;
i) You may be suffering from a hidden, or psychological, injury following combat.
ii) You do need to see a doctor.
All the best, I hope this was useful to you.
Dr John
2:10 pm on November 1st, 2008
This sounds VERY much like OCD, Harm OCD in particular.
2:31 am on November 9th, 2008
Hey Devil Dog,
2:36 am on November 9th, 2008
Devil Dog,
I have been in your shoes. I am not a professional, but talking it out will really help you out. Do not give up on the VA. Just keep showing up until they talk to you. If you are still in the CORP, go see your chaplain or contact your congressional represenative. Force the VA’s hand to do whats right for you.
3:04 am on January 25th, 2009
IF you do decide to kill someone, Please make it a Gook, a nigger, or an Asian, because seriously, there’s too fucking many of them.
2:21 am on April 8th, 2009
subliminal messages. your consiousness has been altered without your will to do things which normally you wouldn’t do. because if the americans would’ve kept their mental sanity bush and co wouldn’t have got to power.
2:25 pm on April 19th, 2009
I used to get in a lot of fights in school, and this provoked me alot. Usually I won, and I found it harder and harder to walk away from the one laying on the ground. Then I searched the web and found out about anger managment. This helped alot. I think this may help you too:) Good luck m8
9:33 am on May 30th, 2009
yo, buy a ps3 or xbox360, get all the war/combat type games, kill all the SOB’s u want, they have Call of Duty, SOCOM, Residient Evil.. kill ppl, zombies whoever you want, get fight night round 5 when it comes out soon. UFC undisputed is GREAT.
These games will fill the void and keep your mind busy and keep you occupied in your spare time and keep you out of trouble.
Have a Blast! I do!
Peace!
6:11 pm on October 31st, 2009
It’s a power rush. That’s why it’s never women. You consider men as the stronger opponent and thus a more satisfying kill. Perhaps you should try and find a less violent way to assert dominance/power.
12:31 pm on November 1st, 2009
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