I think I am in love with my best friend….
I am not against the gay thing just never thought it was me! We met at work years ago and became good friends, as all friendships grow with people and people move on, we parted ways to different parts of the country. We still stayed in touch on the phone about once a month, both have had great loves in our lives and have both been engaged at one time or another. When I landed in the city I am in now he was still about 900 miles away and we have mutual friends in the same city. Well he came back to town for a couple of months then traveled to abroad for 2 months. When he came back to town he moved in with me until his next assignment. THe two or three months that he lived in my guest room was the first time I ever had a roommate and it was great! We had a blast running all over town hitting the bars, playing pool and just normal crap that guys do. When his next position came along he moved to the other coast and for the first time I really missed someone. It was nice to have someone to come home to and just someone to talk with on a daily basis. You get used to having a person in your life and when that person is gone….WOW….. I got really really depressed! We stayed in contact more (two to three times a week) and I flew to visit him and had an OK time. When I got back home again I was missing him. All of a sudden he moved back to town, accross country with out telling me and just showed up at my door! It was a nice suprise, a little shocking, and was between my house and another friends for a week. During that week all of us friends, about 12 of us, got together like every other weekend and at one of the parties at my house a few things were said between the two of us…..nothing direct, sexual, rude or anything else just little things kept coming out that hit me different then they would have in the past. And one little sentence has been on my mind every since….realize that we were totally drunk at this point with a ton of people in my small apt. ….”So why did you come back to town”……”Because of you”……
At first I thought nothing of it. But over the last couple of days it has been on my mind all the time. I couldn’t even sleep last night thinking about it.
A friend of ours (like his brother), was taking him to the airport and he was just in a mood….I couldn’t put my finger on it at first but have seen him like this a lot of times that he is going to be away for a while. (he is gone for two or three months this time then when he gets back we are going to be room mates again) In a nutshell things have been said over the years and as best friends go we have a ball! SOme of the best times I have had has been with my best friend! But when I start thinking about it my mind has been going to other places……see where this is going? I don’t know what to do, what to think, what to do….
THe though tof being with him makes me happier than I have ever been…..but I would never think of telling anyone I was gay because I don’t think like that……Is this a “Brokeback” thing?? Can love hit you where you never thought you would want to go? I want to ask him what he ment by the comment the other night but don’t know how! A few nights after that we all went bar hopping again and got totally smashed….again….and nothing happened, but when he woke up he kept asking me what he said the night before, if he said anything while he blanked out. He was also wondering how he got into his shorts? Not what you think, he did it on his own in the bathroom with the door shut…I am not a pervert! He jsut kept on and on about what he might have said… Is there a way I should ask him about his comment? WHAT DO I DO??
11:43 am on July 11th, 2006
#1176: DON’T BE GAY!!!!!!!!!!BE GAY AND BE FRIENDLESS……UNDERSTAND THAT THIS GUY IS PROBABLY NOT GAY…..THE ODDS OF TWO GROWN MEN COMING OUT OF THE CLOSET TOGETHER AFTER SO LONG…I MEAN THINK ABOUT IT….BESIDES BEING GAY IS JUST NASTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
7:06 pm on July 11th, 2006
#1178: you fucking homo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11
10:36 am on July 12th, 2006
#1185: did anyone bothered themselves read this? hell I didn’t.
2:28 pm on July 12th, 2006
#1187: I think it is totally possible. That happened to me. The reality of it all is that you do not know where you will find Love. I think you should ask him directly what he meant by his comment. Then you should have an honest and open talk. Good luck.
11:19 pm on July 12th, 2006
#1188: Being homosexual is not natural. I do not hate gay people. I hate the sin. Everyones sin is different and we must try top strive to not live or commit sin. We all will stumble but the great thing about Jeus Christ is that you can go back to him and be forgiven. That does not allow us to keep indulging in sin though. We all must make an effort to follow in the footsteps of God’s son. He was tortured and crucified for us for a reason, we should not take that lightly. There will be consequences for our actions on this earth. Even Christians will be judged in heaven for their rewards by how they served God on earth. Homosexuality is sinful living as is two un married heterosexuals living together or having sex. It’s all sin, God did say in the bible that two men lying together and two woman as well is detestable in the sight of the Lord, however we must remember that sin itself is detestable. Being gay is not and never was in the design of the creation of mankind. You must try to refrain from it, the rewards will be great in the end and you may even discover yourself being blessed in many ways here on earth.
11:24 pm on July 12th, 2006
#1189: (#1188) The people that are critical to you for having these feelings are wrong in their thinking. I understand that it must be difficult feeling the way you do and not being able to express it freely. However, the critical people need to remember that it saying in the bible that everyone on this earth with the exception of Jesus is born into sin. It doesn’t say all of our sins will be the same. Each one of us is born with sin and some sin maybe jealousy, greed, murder, sex etc. Others sin maybe homosexuality. That sin is equally forgivable under the blood of Christ as all other sin with the exception of sinning against the Holy Spirit. I will keep you in my prayers.
11:40 pm on July 23rd, 2006
#1194: Hey #1178…..go fuck youself………..if you can with that tiny, itty bitty dick of yours!!
1:25 am on July 24th, 2006
#1195: It seems some people are under the deluded impression that there is something "wrong" with homosexuality. Ignore them; homosexuality is completely natural (there have been gay animals, even) and it’s not a big deal. (And to the people who are saying "Homosexuality goes against God, it was never meant to happen" – since your God is omnipotent, if it was never meant to happen, then don’t you think it would never have happened?) In the long run, does it really matter if you’re gay, straight, bi, whatever? No.
About your situation though… personally, I would just let whatever happens, happen. Don’t worry, just do your thing and live, okay? 😀
1:42 pm on August 28th, 2006
#1249: good for you 1195. couldn’t have said it better myself. as for the rest, they’re all fucking homophobes.
7:49 pm on September 2nd, 2006
#1258: Jesus, fuck all of these christian, ill judge you for ebgin gay types. You guys are patheti, you believ in a made up religion, adn then fuking use it to look down on other people?
Go for it btw. dunno why..
9:52 am on April 10th, 2007
#2696: First off…it doesn’t mean you are gay if you are in love with your best friend. At least not technically. There can come a point between two straight men that they love each other intensely and have a need to be together. Best friendships between buddies can be powerful and fulfilling. But do you want to have sex with him? If so…you’re gay and in love with him. Also nothing wrong with it. And if that’s the case…navigate carefully through the rough waters ahead. You could gain a lover for life…or you could lose your best friend. What’s worth more to you? After answering that question, take action…or don’t.
12:55 am on May 20th, 2008
#4697: romantic friendship in this day and age…wow
1:10 pm on July 30th, 2008
#5003: This happened to me and my best friend. Unfortunately he was truly in love, and I was just into the physical sex. It was incredible sex because he would do anything to please me. I just couldnt get into the love thing, and we broke up
7:59 am on May 5th, 2010
Long time since teh post , but I feel you were in love wtih him ..
Sometimes its just something you cant point out.. You want him more than you need a girl..
He loves you too.. He cant stand being apart from you….
But you just dont seem to understand. He is giving you so many hints… He is upset he is angry that you dont reciprocate.. It makes him crazy..
And you just dont have the guts to ask!
If you guys are still living together.. ask him!
Perhaps your love will blossom. And stop the OH IM NOT GAY thing. You never know who you fall in love with.