Confession Point

When you must confess!

I wish my married co-worker’s wife would run off with a used car salesman because I want him for myself.

I also must confess that even though I never met the woman face-to-face, I hate her guts. Being my complete opposite, she represents all that I despise about being a female. Just the fact that we have genitalia in common makes me sick, although mine is well-groomed and I’m not plagued with contant yeast infections.

I’m not saying I hate being a woman, I’m saying I hate being associated with boring, uptight, SUV/minivan driving Mommies who talk in nasal voices and yack incessantly into their cell phones and shave their necks. I think the idea of such a woman coming home and finding a naked hippie heathen under her precious Hubby Wubby is HILARIOUS.

Unfortunately, I have too many morals to carry this out myself. I sure don’t want him dipping his wick into her greasy, hairy yeast burger and then dipping into my tight, clean kitten. Yuck. Even if he stuck his weiner in boiling water it wouldn’t be enough.

I’m also secretly angry at men who marry these boring, uptight hags because they think it’s the safe and easy thing to do. Have fun going without sex for the rest of your lives. Oral sex is now a distant memory. Why do you do this to yourselves? I’m a fun, easy-going woman. I’ve had one sexual partner, I have all my teeth, I don’t look bad, I’m healthy. But because I’m the kind of person who other people may find appealing for whatever reason, I’m not safe.

Have fun with your harpies with their capri pants and their Keds and their neck stubble. Fun, sex and affection are so overrated when you have a big, fat hound dog that sits at your side and nags your ear off every night. She may be annoying but garsh, she’s loyal. Is it worth it?

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5 Comments

  1. clear android
    2:43 pm on November 29th, 2006

    #1325: Evidentally it is totally worth it. Men want ladies, not self-righteous, jealous, ignorant whores talking about how clean their festering cooch is.

  2. clear android
    2:51 pm on November 29th, 2006

    #1326: ^^^
    LOL

  3. ill headmaster
    2:51 pm on November 30th, 2006

    #1327: so. im kind of indifferent about this because on one hand i understand where you’re coming from, on one hand i see how these people can be fake. but on the other hand, who are you to judge this woman you never met?

  4. Ikem
    3:30 am on October 4th, 2009

    I want BOTH! A girl who is loyal to me and the sex freak. If I can’t find it in one girl, I will take it from two!

  5. crazy anethesiologist
    2:51 pm on January 27th, 2011

    haha you sound like a whore thats bitter, why buy the cow when the milks free? So your such a wonderful catch that you dont have a man of your own, you want a married man and your bitching to a website? Funny little girl, grow up.

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