Its time to just come clean. This whole need for sex thing has kind of hindered me from gaining $100,000 and a new home. I need to let it go. Right when I begin to suceed, sex creeps up and I fall again. The road is getting tougher, I am getting older, and the money potential is getting way higher. I feel a new task coming along this is HUGE, and I also feel that sex game coming back again trying to get me to log on to the same websites and get the same “quick fix” then trying to explain to my girlfriend why it takes me so long to orgasm. Man its getting out of control but its okay because I know its in God’s hands and that’s where it needs to be. I am just ready to move on with my life and physically, let my other half handle anything I need for me. She is willing I need to use that to help transisiton me to the next step. But self-pleasure is not the answer. It is the Question. Why Do I do it? Because of Boredum? Because of depression? Because of Anger? Because Its the Question not the answer. Well know I know the Answer its God and the Question is the same. Why not do it?
8:33 pm on February 2nd, 2009
The answer is not god. You are the answer. It is your responsibility, solely. The problem is NOT the porn fixation, that is just a syndrom/expression. Can be easily traded for drugs, gambling or any other misuse (over use). Although you’ve been FOCUSING on this syndrom, so it has become a convient expression of your problem.
Your problem is HIDDEN IN THE WAY YOU PERCIEVE YOURSELF. The result of your problem is energy loss, that’s expressing itself in various ways: you can’t afford a new house, etc. But that is only RESULT, not your problem. I will get back to your problem in the end.
People have several motives for actions leading different possible directions in a given situation Should you jerk off? Should you pay the bills? Should you take a long walk and think things through. Which way does people choose to walk? Not the one with the most reasonable motive, but the one with the STRONGEST motive.
Strongest motive is the motive that have gotten your attention the most.
The solution doesn’t lie in quitting or in liberation from… Liberation is the result and reward of solving your problem. To stop giving attention to the syndrom is not the solution.
You know what must be done (result), but you don’t know how to do it (solution).
The keyword is attraction.
Artificially performing the result doesn’t solve your real problem. “Stop doing” doesn’t attract THAT which is intended.
This is how YOU MUST proceed if you want to solve your problem (there is no other way, either you do this consciously for a period depending on how conscious you decide to be in your effort. Or you let life solve it automatically, which may, in theory, take a very long time. In reality you don’t have this much time):
1.) Search you heart and mind – what is your assignment? Service? You decide. But how do you know if it is it? If it doesn’t contain “love without fear” (understanding, immidiate identification with something) “selflessness without losing self” (not your own gain; hobbies are often selflessness w/o us realizing. Seriously, what do you gain if you enjoy riding and taking care of horses? With effort serving a horse’s well being is selflessness, unless you do it because he is going to win the next race for you; true selflessness is always enjoyable) and “intelligence but not elite” (ability, or rather barely able). It is the general requirements for next step up in life. Your next “level”. That is why you enjoy it. That is why you are able to do it (but far from something you master), and the reason to why you see it must be done.
If you, with love, see that it must be accomplished but lack the ability, then it is a step even further up (like most ideals such as proclaming world peace). You can’t climb more than one step at a time. If it isn’t selfless (but still enjoyable) it is a step below your current position (we are often running up and down accomplished steps). If you are able to do it and it’s enjoyed through selfless work, but there is no understanding (love) it is most often “evil”, more or less anyway, in some sense. That’s why being a conscious servant of god requires someone with reason and intellect, not only heart. How do they otherwise know it is god they serve if they can’t tell his plan from satans?
2.) After deciding your assignment you must focus, with effort on attracting it (thinking about it, doing it). Attraction is cultivated with FOCUSED THINKING. You must think about this assignment as often as possible – with relaxed FOCUS. Jerking of infront of the computer is relaxed focus. Apply this focus as often as possible to your assignment.
This assignment, or level or whatever… can be defined as opposite to jerking off. Whenever your mind comes near “busty wet web babe” try to think about that selfless understanding you’re capable of doing. After a few weeks you’d wanna thank me, if you go through with it, but thank yourself, because no one else can do the work for you. I know you can do it. I know because it will happen to you sooner or later.
You must learn to know that you can do it, if you are going to do it consciously. Right now you don’t know that. Maybe you know that you can try? But that is failure. The more certain you are, the faster and more efficiently do you evolve.
What you know today:
– – – You are not worth making $100 000 and a new home
– – – You have to end the need of sex.
– – – You can’t have orgasm
etc.
All these and many more things you know are results of your problem. If you hadn’t known about them they wouldn’t be “true”. Infact this kind of knowledge is only “true” because someone decided, and continiously decides that this how things are. This is someone who knows these things are “true” and doesn’t like you.
It is you.
The part with the strongest motive to fuck up your life is the part of you that think you are a bad person and belive you don’t deserve a new house. You have judged yourself for something you did a long time ago.
Even I see that you are a good person from the little I could see of you in your post (which might be more than most people see).
If you do take that step, decide to evolve and become a better, a whole human being (in relation to how whole you are today) you will find that you are not as half as bad as men who has real power with huge houses and no remorse.
You are a good guy with good things comming your way which you can “use” to make this world an even better place for all of us to live in.
And that is the truth, despite the things you have done in the past. You know better today. You are ready.
And good luck with your “huge” thing. You didn’t mention it was somwthing wonderful.
Regards,
Peter Philter
Philtering out Junk