Confession Point

When you must confess!

i’ve been having a gay affair with a married professional footballer for 5 years. he says he loves me more than his wife but he couldn’t take the public backlash. i’m not allowed to have a boyfriend but what can i do? i love him so much

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4 Comments

  1. karen
    4:58 pm on October 28th, 2008

    I’m no shrink or claim to be any kind of expert on relationships but since you asked for an opinion, I’ll give you one based on my own experience. if it is one thing I have seen over and over again, when you date a married man, he is a cheater. If he was truly miserable in his marriage, he would have left her long ago and not come up with a bunch of excuses as to why he can’t. If he ever did leave his wife and jump into a relationship with you, which I’m sure is your hope, he will eventually cheat on you too and use the same excuses he used to cheat on his wife. I have never seen an exception to this. I also believe this man you think loves you back is only telling you things he thinks you want to hear to keep you in his pocket. Relationships and love isn’t something that just happens and stays that way…it needs to grow and there is no way for this to grow because you have to keep it a secret. You cannot hold his hand in public, you cannot tell anyone else about this relationship, you can’t do any of the little things people in a good solid relationship can do. As for not being allowed to have a boyfriend…what gives him the right to say that or lay down any rules for you? How selfish of him to expect you to go to bed every night alone while he crawls into bed with his wife. He isn’t even thinking of you or what you need if he can say that to to while being married to someone else. If I were you, I would dump this married man ASAP before you waste any more of your precious life on a relationship that is destined to fail because the longer you invest yourself into a sick relationship, the shorter time you’ll get with the love of your life, if you didn’t pass him up in order to hang on to this relationship that isn’t good for you. I think you deserve to have someone who is proud to be with you and wants to introduce you into their world as well as join yours. Even if you dump the guy and end up single for a while, that is not a bad thing. At least you won’t have your self-esteem and soul sucked dry by a selfish cheater. I know you will probably roll your eyes at this and think “Well…what do they know? They aren’t here they don’t know what it is like” because that is what I did when people tried to tell me to get out now he is just using you. Apparently I needed to learn the hard way that they were right. If you do have to learn the hard way like I did, you will need a good network of friends outside of this relationship who can help you through it when it does go sour. Best of luck to you

  2. brave goldfish
    6:28 am on January 9th, 2009

    He immediately needs to tell his wife and get a divorce. And if you two do stay together, then just try hard to keep it from the public, and even from his team if it would effect his job by discrimination.

  3. Bear
    3:30 pm on January 30th, 2009

    One Name – Esera Tuaolo – look him up

  4. Jay knows
    11:57 am on April 10th, 2009

    u shud tell u who is he is

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