Confession Point

I prayed to God for the girl of my dreams but the girl of my dreams was really attracted to a bad guy who is really into cheating on his wife, so now I am stuck with the girl of my fantasies and I am just gonna have to live with that. I find it odd or entertaining that it happens to turn out that the only girl who will have me is the girl of my fantasies.

Clearly God has a unique sense of humor, cause I have a hard time understanding how the girl of my fantasies actually finds me devastatingly attractive, cause most your lesser totally hotties never find me attractive enough if at all. Though, it should be noted that this confession and/or complaint is probably temporary. Guess I am used to trusting myself to obtain the best I THINK I am worthy of, rather than letting God bless me with what HE thinks I deserve. I guess I just have to learn to be secure in the fact that God answered my prayer better than I even prayed it.

But what am I gonna do with my own never good enough self image? Think I will pass it to THAT guy, who’s name and number shall remain anonymous. Now, HE gets to possess my never good enough self image. And God tells me that is just fine, cause he needs a wake up call anyway. And you may find this confession a bit cheesy and even offensive or even unbelievable, but that is cause you probably never prayed to God to fulfill your wildest fantasies, so, you are presently stuck living the mediocrity of your dreams. And where is your faith? Probably in the mediocrity of your dreams. And should I prove to you God answered my prayer by showing you a picture of my devastatingly gorgeous wife? No, I will just remind you of how totally boring I look, how uninteresting is my bank account, and how socially retarded I am. Besides, most men have seen pictures of her anyway, but I have not even seen her Playboy spread!

Yes, no lie! I am a mostly dysfunctional and unsuccessful Christian guy, and God sends me a Playboy playmate with a long since misplaced faith. I actually prayed to God, please send me the most devastatingly beautiful, brilliant, and engaging Christian woman in the world, who will find me, ME, totally hot and exciting for the whole of our lives, and GOD SENDS ME A FORMER PLAYMATE!