i think im secretly in love with my guy frend. im always telling myself i dont, because he’s not good looking and not cool. he is really not my type.. but were very good friends and he is always there for me. i know he secrelty loves me too. he’s told me several times but we always act like were not totally serious.. i try to find other boys and i’ve had boyfriends. but hes always the one i find myself fantasizing about because i know that he cares abt me more than any other boy ever will. knowing he wants me so badly makes me want him. but we cud never be together. im ashamed and embarassed. i hate that im this vain and superficial. but i am.. i wish i never became so close to him.. now im trying to drift away from him.
