Facts: 23/Female 6’3″/145 Auburn hair, brown eyes, great skin, big lips, and a perfect smile.
My Reality: Everywhere I go people stop and stare, point and whisper, laugh when I walk by, smirk when I wear heels, come up to me and tell me how tall I am (like I don’t know!), basically make me feel like I should be in the circus!! Why do people do that.. make me feel ugly and insecure?? Why is being tall a bad thing?Better yet, why can’t a woman with my height where heels without everyone making me feel like I am a fucking joke??
Seriously, I just can’t wrap my head around it anymore.. and sadly, its working, keeping me staying inside day after day, avoiding big groups of people, alienating myself from those around me, wearing big baggy clothing so people cant see the real me… i wish someone could see me right now and my tears of rejection.
I love my man and i have allways enjoyed giving oral to him soo much. The problem is I am self-conscious and I was pretty sure I was awful at it. So I kept on insultinghim and insinuating that I disliked it, I guess so that he would not bag on me. He has had a history of experience with women and he is the only man I have had any experiences with. By the way were both pretty young. Now as a result he wont let me give him oral and it has affected our relationship on so many emotional and “physical” areas. I told him the truth about it all but he thinks I am lying and wont bother with me at all saying he doesnt want to go through the same shit again. I feel that I have rejeted him in a bad way and offended him. Nothing I say or do helps. I want to satisfy his “urges” but that is completely off limits and my very sugestion angers him. I know I deserve the rejection he is giving me. Now everything is messed up and all I do is try to fix things. My confssion is that I want one of those “easy” buttons from those tv comercials but yet still I dont because this experience has allowed me to open up to him on so many levels even though it seems he doesnt belive me in any of them.
